They smile and call you something even more offensive. Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. If you hurt my friend I can make your death look like an accident. Friends are therapists you can drink with. No one will ever be as entertained by us as us. And I’ve regretted that choice ever since. Well-behaved people don't make it into history books. Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies. As your best friend, I’ll always pick you up when you fall. ![]() Victoria’s Secret models, we're comin’ for your careers. Grateful they're is okay being seen in public with me. Friends who slay together, stay together. When worst comes to worst, the squad comes first. I don’t like to commit myself to heaven and hell. Real friends don't care if your room is clean. You don’t have to be crazy to be my best friend, but if you’re not, you probably wouldn’t want to be friends with me anyway. Behind every great woman is an even better friend to approve her selfies. Behind every successful woman is a best friend giving her crazy ideas. A best friend is like your favorite bra: supportive, comfortable, hard to find, and close to your heart. Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. A best friend is sitting next to you in the cell. A good friend is there to bail you out of jail. You know we're close if you see the selfies I don't like. I hope we are good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through 47 walls, and haunt our enemies. We’ll be friends forever because you already know too much. Friends don't let friends do stupid things. Finding friends with the same level of crazy is priceless. We will be the old ladies causing trouble in the nursing homes. I don’t know what’s tighter: our jeans or our friendship. Good Instagram Captions for Photos With Friends 33. RELATED: 150 Best Funny Quotes To Brighten Up Your DayĪdvertisement Find out what's in the card for you with a live tarot reading. "If I was you, I’d wanna be me, too." - Meghan Trainor, "Me Too" It burns a lot of calories." - Jessica Simpson 32. "Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you." - Jeffree Star 31. "Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop." - Gertrude Stein 30. "You’re only as good as your last haircut." - Fran Lebowitz 28. "I drink to make other people more interesting." - Ernest Hemingway 27. "I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection." - Drake, "King Libra" 26. "I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives." - Ralph Waldo Emerson 25. "I am only human, although I regret it." - Mark Twain 24. "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." - A. RELATED: 30 Best Instagram Captions To Post With Your Cute Pics (When You're Feeling Yourself) Funny Instagram Quote Captions 22. Never let anyone treat you like a yellow Starburst. Every 60 seconds, there's a girl posting a positive message that she doesn't live by. I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands. Be as picky with your men as you are with your selfies. ![]() I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around. Life status: currently holding it all together with one bobby pin. Me? Crazy? I should get down off this unicorn and slap you. Why fall in love when you can fall asleep? 14. ![]() Never let a man treat you like anything less than Beyoncé. They call it a 'selfie' because 'narcissistic' is too hard to spell. That awkward moment when you're wearing Nikes and you can't do it. I miss you like an idiot misses the point. I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It's okay to have some fun with it! 185 Funny Instagram Captions to Copy and Paste on Your Favorite Selfies and Pics The Best Funny Instagram Captions 1. ![]() Whether you want to build up your social media following or are looking for new ways to engage with your followers, there's no question that funny captions are way more interesting than just writing something bland like "mood" or "hey."
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